Living in the Zone

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http://jacquesmattheij.com/living+in+the+zone

I've noticed this phenomenon myself. I use to get in the zone when reading or working on some bit of homework (homework generally being writing, programming, physics or calculus). I swear sometimes, doing Cal II homework, I could feel my brain expanding, building new connections. I know Cal II is at the edge of where my brain can go, which is pretty cool I guess. How many people can say they know the limit of their mind? I've never been a gifted brainiac so Cal II was the limit for me, but it was really cool to watch the truly gifted work Cal equations like...I don't know, I guess it's kinda like watching a truly gifted runner run. You know, as a culture we are sure to honor the physically gifted, but it's few who watch the mentally gifted work and stand in awe. I guess you have to understand enough of what they are doing to know and appreciate how amazing they are.

I'm not a genius or an artist or a pro athlete, but I've always wanted to be. I've always worked really hard to be first. It's cost me too. My health is complete crap from trying so hard to be something I'm not. Someone said to me recently, "Life isn't supposed to be this hard. You're not supposed to be this sick. Maybe you're supposed to be doing something else." I argued of course :), but later I gave it real thought and maybe she's right. It's just that, if I can't fly I at least want to stand next to those who do. If I can't get there I want to help others get there and maybe in return they will help me fly. Even if with their help, if I never learn to fly alone, I will have at least flown, and that is better then never leaving the ground.

They say you can be anything you want. You grow up thinking that, but I'm not sure that is the right thing to say to a child because it's not true and maybe something you shouldn't even strive for. I've been told, and generally find it to be true, that you should try to do what you do well because when you do well you're happy. So instead of telling children they can be anything, why not encourage them to find what they are good at? I wonder sometimes where I would be if I had spent my childhood looking for what I was good at. Could I be one of the greats, just not at the things I have tried? Maybe we will never know.

I had this coworker. He's a couple years younger then me. I saw something amazing in him and hired him as my assistant against much resistance from my supers. I was working for the university I was attending. Generally when hiring students the university considers GPA as a mark of a good or bad employee. This student had a very low GPA, but he was a go getter. Even through I had to tell him no so many times, he kept coming back. He send me his resume a hundred times, kept coming back with letters of recommendation, etc. He would come to my office and just hang out. He'd work with me on projects for no pay. He justed wanted a chance at an IT job. He just wanted to do the work. His commitment moved me so much I went out on a limb for him and got him hired.

He's a genius. His ability to create unique solutions out of nothing is - well, I've never seen anything like it. He is devoted to his work and loves every second of it. He had made the agreement that if he was hired he would have to bring his grades up. However, that semester he had to drop every class he was taking but one. In addition, through the course of the semester he lied to me about attending class and how things were going. This made no sense to me. How could someone so gifted, so motivated, fail so hard? In time he told me the truth and admitted to the lies. He couldn't live with himself and he was tired of trying and failing. He needed help.

We talked about it for a long time. Together we soul searched and finally settled on switching his major. He moved to my major, one that would lead him out of the world of engineering and into the world of IT. It was a hard time. It was a dream of his to hold the title engineer, but he let go of it to chase what he's good at. Now he's a success. In some courses, a favorite student. I have since left my position at the university and he has taken my place. The work he does is amazing. He surpassed me like a wild fire fueled by pure desire. His school work is top shelf, his programming skills amazing. And in his free time you can still find odd projects occurring, like a vacuum cleaner becoming a leaf blower, computers booting from flash drives full of portable admin tools, and something to do with a lamp, a small motor, and his bicycle? (Still don't know what that's going to be.) I love to watch him thrive. And he still falls down sometimes. He gets bored and lets things slide as gifted people tend to do. I makes me happy to be there and help him grow. I've been told that's my gift. I help people find and reach their potential.

He inspires me too, to keep looking for what makes me great. Didn't someone once say, do what makes you happy and the rest will follow? I think they have it right. I guess it's just a matter of finding what makes you happy.